24 Things All Foodies Understand

Not all people are created equal

  1. Some people claim to skip meals because they’re too busy or too distracted. We are not those people.
  2. You wake up and immediately consider what you’ll have for breakfast. Who are we kidding? You’re already planning dinner.
  3. There is a part of you that actually dreads buffet-style meals. There is a fine buffet line between having a good time and regret. Your toe has been on that line.
  4. Despite judgment, you always order the bigger portion. Lunch portions are for chumps.
  5. At dinner, family and friends know to position your favorite dish right in front of you because they don’t want to be asked to pass it 100 times. Nor do they want your arm constantly reaching over them.
  6. Personal rewards take edible form. When you have a long day at work, you treat yourself with a delicious dinner. When you’ve accomplished something great, you buy yourself a sundae. You’re pretty easy to please.
  7. You call Christmas Day: Ham and Turkey Day.
  8. You extensively research food delivery services (wink, wink) so that you’re always prepared for a good meal.
  9. At parties, you stand near the food tables and eat handful after handful until A.) you’re too full to eat more or (more likely) B.) there are none left.
  10. A large portion of your income is dedicated to food. Once you’ve paid for rent and utilities, there’s nothing stopping you from ordering burritos and sushi until funds run dry.
  11. You only exercise to feel less guilty about all the cheese curds.
  12. Friends and family often give you restaurant gift cards as presents. Just how you like it.
  13. The day’s meals can make or break the quality of that day. Great food = great day.
  14. When you know you’re going to be early to meet someone, you look for a quick place to grab a snack.
  15. People are easier to deal with if food is around.
  16. You have made some kind of romantic novelty out of food. Bacon roses are the real way to man’s heart, after all.
  17. There’s no way you’re sitting through a movie without popcorn or sour patch kids. or milk duds or nachos.
  18. After completing a strenuous event – like a half marathon… or lifting the TV remote multiple times – you make a devilish grin and think, “Calories no longer count today.”
  19. Everyone in your life knows that you love a particular type of food because you talk about your love for that food at every possible opportunity.
  20. You don’t eat to live. You live to eat.
  21. You’ve found crumbs in places you didn’t know crumbs could go.
  22. You’d rather grocery shop than go on a date.
  23. You are often aware that people (roommates, friends, family, etc.) are disgustedly noticing the amount of food you’re eating. And you don’t care.
  24. You’ve wondered how many calories you’ve burned opening the refrigerator door.

Now that you’re hungry – again – go order some Bite Squad.